Miracle Blanket + Breast Milk = Good night's sleep for Papa

I just titled it that because it amused Larry, Jr. I've already written about milk, but I will add that this child is voracious. I don't think we'll have to worry that she'll be underweight at her next checkup. She wanted to eat about every 90 minutes last night. Lisa has been good humored about it. No doubt it helps that her strength is coming back now. As she says, at least we know why she's crying.

What I really aim to write about is the subject of visitors, helpers and callers. First off, you can tell who has had young children lately, because they generally comment that they won't stay too long. Excellent advice for those who those who haven't been there. It's a very good idea to phone ahead, too, to make sure the present domestic scene has deteriorated into a series of soiled diapers. I mean that literally and metaphorically. When a friend called this morning and left a message about stopping by, I had no way of knowing that Lisa would spend all morning and into the afternoon trying to knock dear daughter out with some 'white gold' (breast milk). When he phoned again from the neighborhood, I had to tell him that since Lisa was napping and Anna was just asleep, today wouldn't be great.

Even with all that feeding, I still had to give her a little formula to finally get her from 'dozy' to 'snoozy'. With dozy, they play being asleep for a few minutes before wailing for more Mama's blend.

It's great to have people who want to visit. Sometimes visitors become helpers when they drop some food. So far, we've only had Lisa's cousin Julie bring some food. Of course I can and have made lunches and dinners, but it sure is great to enjoy the kindness that comes from someone who's been particularly thoughtful. Kay and Larry took us for gelato and demonstrated enormous patience while they waited for us poky new parents. Nani and Laurel are coming by with some Chinese food tonight, and I think Jenny is bringing pot pie. My sister Pamela's family treated to Rocky's. Perhaps Ellen was a bit premature when she commented that bringing food is a lost art. As Ellen also said, "This is a huge change for you." It's great to know that friends and family are helping to smooth that change, calorically or otherwise.

Speaking of Ellen, she's been a huge help. Generous of time and spirit, she has managed to help give Lisa rest and uplift over the last week. Of course, she'd be here either way if we needed a hand, but it doesn't hurt to have a cute baby in the house. My sister Pamela's family also pitched in at a critical time and spent most of the day Saturday with us. Certainly, food is great and stuffed animals are cute, but I've been so thankful that I can get help helping Lisa to rest.

We've had other offers of help, but sometimes they become so vague that we don't know what to make of them: "If you need any help, let us know!" Probably better to offer something specific, because it's hard to take someone up on such a generic offer. Next time I suppose I'll just say yes and show them the lawn mower. No doubt people are sinceer, but it's just not particularly practical.

We've even had help from Lisa's sister Sara, who gave birth less than 48 hours after Lisa did. Wow! All of the women in Lisa's family are amazing ladies! No doubt we should expect great things from Little Ms. Anna.

Got milk? Got sleep?

Our first 24 hours with the baby, while we were still in the hospital, were exhausting. Yes, we were excited and relieved and joyful. We had little idea what to expect. I recall most people saying that just newborns tended toward the sleepy side just out into the world. Anna, although she didn't have that name just yet, was wired like an off-duty Starbucks barista with an employee discount card. After what Lisa went through physically and I went through emotionally, we could have used a quieter night. Unfortunately, as good as the nursing care had been up to that point, we were disappointed with the nurse who was on overnight. She seemed to be in a hurry to come into and get out of the room.

We didn't know a lot about newborns, but it turns out this one has been very interested in getting about10-14 square meals a day in the first few days. That hasn't left much time for Mom to do much else. Plus, some parts need, shall we say, 'seasoning' to move beyond the sharp pain phase of breast feeding. More news to me was that breast milk doesn't immediately follow colostrum, the anti-body rich stuff that shows up right away. I think it was news to Anna, too, since she tried and tried to maintain her girlish figure of 8 lbs 7 oz, but there wasn't enough to allow for that.

Our second night in the hospital was far better since the nurse took Anna to the nursery for a couple of tasty hours of sleep. Once back home, however, we had to tag team holding Anna, since she refused to sleep while lying alone in her bassinet, Moses basket, or any other infant device short of loving arms.

Friday we visited with her new doctor, Stan Livingston (he must get sick of the 'Dr. Livingston, I presume' jokes), and he was concerned that she wasn't getting enough calories. We'd already started giving her a bit of formula to supplement till the rich breast milk arrived. Fortunately, on Friday night, Saturday and again on Sunday, we had family and friends come help us care for this rather needy young lady and to help with Lisa's recovery. Nevertheless, we were still a little anxious until breast milk arrived on Sunday. Two joyful deliveries inside of one week! Woo hoo!

After David and Gretchen's visit on Sunday, at which they agreed to be Anna's Godparents, Lisa laid Anna down and she slept for four hours. In a row! We both had to tickle her feet to make sure she was still breathing. To make matters better (you almost never hear 'better' at the end of that phrase), she only needed ONE night feeding.

So now she's cute and she's willing to do some extended sleeping. New blessing arrive every day.

(In the photo is Godfather Dave)

When we left off, Lisa was resting more comfortably. Dr. Henry came in and indicated that we should hope for 1cm / hr progress, and that's what did happen, more or less. He shared that he was off duty at 8am, so that meant another OB doc, Dr. Laura Sabo, would presumably take us 'the rest of the way'. In between, a couple of residents came by, each with a medical student, and Lisa's mom and Gretchen came along to help with delivery. It was great that it wasn't just up to me, since I trend toward the squeamish side and know very little about the whole labor and delivery process. Plus, we could each help Lisa and then take breaks now and then for a little air throughout the course of the day. Unfortunately, Lisa wasn't able to do the same. On the other hand, the epidural did its job, and she did some opportunity to rest up for the hard work of pushing yet to come.

When we visited Dr. Anderson on Monday, she indicated that the baby, let's call her Anna!, was face up, rather than down, which makes for much more difficult delivery. The doctors were fairly certain that was still the case as Lisa waited for her time to push. In the morning, Dr. Henry did provide some encouraging news that sometimes babies 'corkscrew' a bit as they come out, so we hoped that would be the case this time. One of the complications of such an infant orientation is that the contractions can come in 'couplets', which means they came one right after the other, with no return to 'baseline'. Turns out that's not optimal for delivery, so the Dr. began some pitocin to 'even-out' the contractions.

At 3:30p.m., our nurse Kelly, who proved to be just the right person to work really well with Lisa, indicated that it was pushing time. The Lisa we know and love naturally asked for 15 minutes to rest before she began, which shows that she is wise beyond her years.

Turns out that pushing was hard and progress slow. After a few examinations, Dr. Sabo wasn't particularly encouraged at the baby's movement. At one point, she called for a fetal monitor to be placed, since the external one failed to be reliable, given the movement involved in pushing. She shared some concern that the baby's heart rate was a little too high, which can indicate that it's under stress. Kelly figured out that certain positions for pushing made the heartbeat respond better, so she had Lisa favor those. She also put Lisa on some oxygyn, which helped, also.

After the fact, other OB doctors are surprised and a little shocked that Lisa pushed for four hours. Forunately for mother and baby and those there to witness, Lisa's strength, stamina, and will allowed her to do an incredible amount of very hard work. She knew that the alternative was a 'C - section', so she worked extra hard.

The only price the baby paid for all that effort was a little extra 'cone' head (since her name IS Coan, that's not the worst thing), which has shrunk away. Lisa, on the other hand, is very tired and suffered a few complications, though none that required additional hospital stay, which will make her recovery a little extra slow.

The great news is that we have a little girl who, after an evening of consideration, her mother decided to call 'Anna Elisabeth'. We're so very humble, happy, and pleased to share plenty of adventures to come with our little sweetie, who we sometimes call 'Snorky', since she snorts when she cries.

Ok, finally a baby joins the blogosphere

We've had a wonderful whirlwind of the past few days. Thanks for all those we've already heard from that have shared congratulations and well-wishes. Looking forward to introductions as soon as we're rested up and Lisa has been given some much-needed recovery time.

Monday night Lisa was bored of hanging at home and taking naps, so we decided to go to a budget movie. Turns out that "Forgetting Sara Marshall" is a perfect dumb comedy for anyone with a wife in the early stages of labor. Several times during the feature, Lisa had to sit at the edge of her seat, though not because of spine-tingling suspense, but rather so that I could counter some uncomfortable back labor with some firm pressure to her lower back. After the show we went home and to bed. I recall her getting up at 10pm for some cereal.

At 4:00am she moaned, "Owwwwwww! Gretchen!" referring to her very dear friend Gretchen Considine, who we hoped could join us during delivery. These were sharp and persistent labor pains that came closely together. My first instinct was to call Lisa's mom, Sue, who works in OB and she suggested that even though labor didn't exactly match the pattern prescribed in our labor and delivery classes, these were serious enough that we should go in to Meriter. We also phoned the triage nurse, who recommended that we wait a bit. In response, Lisa also thought we should wait a little to make sure they would continue, and by about ten to five, it was clear that they weren't stopping and were likely getting more intense.

Since I have a very organized wife, her bag was packed a couple of weeks ago. I grabbed my daddy bag and a change of clothes and we scooted out the door. I did my best to remain calm on the outside and drove close to posted speeds, since our instructors assured us that first babies are rarely in a hurry to come out. We pulled into the ER less than 10 minutes later and between the car and the ER admissions desk, Lisa had two intense contractions.

Lisa got a little break by the time we got to the desk, so she made chit chat with the young man at the desk, who she recognized from a class or something. Another young man wheeled Lisa to OB triage, where, since she was by far the loudest and furthest along mom-to-be, she was quickly shown to a birthing suite. Of course, being the kind Lisa we all know and love, she was worried that she had scarred the other moms.

Fortunately, the baby picked a really good time for us to arrive, since there was a room available immediately and because the anesthesiologist was available and both a good guy and really good at what he did. Twenty to thirty minutes later, Lisa was much more comfortable, and she could have her contractions and baby's heart beat monitored, and could be examined in relative comfort so that she'd know when to begin pushing.

Next time: Delivery! In the meantime, enjoy a photo of Anna Elisabeth!

Weekend Indoors, Mostly

This weekend we had planned to attend Lisa's cousin's wedding in Milwaukee. By mid-week, however, it was pretty clear to Lisa that she was too uncomfortable for a lot of time in the car. Plus, she didn't want to be that far away if active labor came along.

So mostly we stayed indoors, since it was warm and sticky out. We did manage to meet Gretchen, Sarah, and David for lunch after Maxwell Street Days, however. And we did make it to the zoo for about 45 minutes of strolling and animal gazing. I wonder if other animals notice when humans are pregnant? There were several pregnant women there along with Lisa. I do know that when my 11th grade English teacher became pregnant (out of 'wedlock', mind you - see shock, horror!), none of the guys in class had the slightest clue, whereas the girls all claimed to have known well before she broke down crying in front of the class. Being the youngest, that was my first moment spent with pregnant women. It left me a little confused, to be sure.

Saturday afternoon, Lisa had contractions in regular intervals for a while, but they faded. On Sunday at 5am, she had a noticeably sharper contraction, so she got up to shower in case they continued, but they did not. She also felt some progress after she ate some of the calzone I made for lunch (I told her the ultimate compliment to the chef would be labor and delivery), but that didn't last either.

Tomorrow we'll go in for a non-stress test. More after that, but first, a photo of Lisa before we went for a dip at the Monona pool this afternoon.

Maxwell Street Daze

The other July calendar item that loomed around the due date was the start of Maxwell Street Days on State Street.

We reckoned that, at this point, we'd be passing the baby back and forth while looking for bargains. As I write, David, Gretchen, Sarah, and probably Jennifer are deep in the bargain hunt. Instead, I have been assigned to back yard watering, which, because of the freakish mosquito bloom, is a little like a trip to a Red Cross blood drive. I told Lisa to have the orange juice ready for when I come inside.

Baby was squirming around so much and so furiously this morning that I could easily feel it on my side of the bed without contacting the mother. I also recall thinking in the dead of night, "Why is Lisa having those little spasms while she slumbers?" [note: I didn't actually think the term 'slumber'...I'm weird, but not that weird...] Turns out it was baby movements.

Our alternative plan is to meet the shopping crew for lunch, after a look at Capitol Kids and what they are offering for 'deals'. Lisa really wants to find Ava a doll for when Sara's baby shows up, which won't be long.

Here's a pic of the mother's to be with Ava, just before they went for a dip at the Monona pool.

Come and Gone

The baby was due Saturday, but so far, no delivery. It's not like UPS or FedEx, where you can get online and see where your package is. The stork doesn't have a tracking number, as it turns out. Nevertheless, I learned in baby class that delivery within two weeks of due date (38-42 weeks) is normal. After 42, the doctor told us today, increases the risk of stillbirth significantly enough that it's worth considering the alternatives.

As I write, Lisa's friend, another Lisa, is here doing some acupuncture to see if that will 'get this party started'. Aunt Ellen tried the same on Saturday while I was at my class reunion, five minutes down the road. Ellen also tossed in some gelato for good measure.

There has been a lot of discussion of 'membrane sweeping/scraping' in last week, something Dr. Anderson offered last week. Our current plan is that if Lisa hasn't gone into labor by Monday, she'll have a 'non-stress' test and another ultrasound, to make sure everything is 'groovy' down and in. If by Wednesday of that week there is no change, Lisa might opt for the membrane thing. If that doesn't change things, we have an induction appointment for early Thursday morning. Whew! Have to take this stuff about 12 hours at a time.

Here's a photo of acupuncture!

Due Date is FAST approaching

For months we have known that Lisa's due date and my 25th Class Reunion, an event for which I've helped plan. That date is tomorrow.

These hot and humid days have been particularly challenging for Lisa. During a typical summer, she wears pj's to bed on all but the warmest evenings. Now even covers are a rare option for her. On the upside, during the winter, her hands and feet were never the least bit cold. Early this morning I reached over for some 'hold the belly' time and it was as warm as a plate right out of the dishwasher. For all those prospective fathers out there, what pregnant moms most crave in the summer months are P & P (pools and Popsicles). Watermelon is never a bad idea, either.

We'll see what tomorrow brings. Lisa said that she felt a stronger contraction last night as the rain started. There was so much lightening, I was afraid some would sneak in a window and cook my whole family.

False Alarm on Thursday

On Thursday Lisa went home from work feeling out of sorts. Of course I recalled from birth class that that's often a sign that labor is beginning. All afternoon I stared at the clock to see when I could leave work and see how Lisa was doing. I even remarked to a co-worker or two that I might not see them the following week, that I might soon be a dad.

Friday, however, Lisa was less 'crampy', though no less uncomfortable. We reassured one another that 'baby will come when it comes', although every time I left the house she asked, "Do you have your cell phone?" She asks although she doesn't know the number, and I can count on one hand the number of calls I have taken on it. Anyway, the chances of Lisa going from mild cramps to active labor is pretty slim during a two hour bike ride. Nevertheless, I phoned from Lincoln Road near Oregon this morning, mostly for the sake of reassurance. I also reminded her that I could love my Colnago road bike AND the baby at the same time. Something tells me that I will have a lot more opportunity to demonstrate that love to the child over the following three months.

Lisa really doesn't want to go back to work tomorrow and who can blame her. Barbaric 'family' policies in this country, for those that even have the option to take leave with pay. When friends in Pasedena were about to have a child we couldn't see why they didn't return to Norway. There, mothers can take a year's leave and have in-home assistance. They'll even do laundry! Funny how those politicians who spout about love of the unborn seem to lose interest once children are out of the womb. Where's our federally funded day care (and decent pay for those who work in daycare and preschool)? Don't get me started!

Anyway, all rants aside, we'll see what the week brings. Meanwhile, a photo my brother Steve took in the backyard.

Bloginnings

The baby isn't here, so it's not real yet.

No doubt it's far more real for Lisa, since she's been hauling around the baby, finding clothes that will fit (although I did get a sassy pair of pre-owned shorts that were a hit), feeling kicks, knees, elbows and assorted parts moving about, and having to put up with weight gain and exams.

I've just been hanging around trying not to look exceptionally stupid, which is also how I see the delivery going, plus lots of massaging and fending off residents and interns.

To date, we've spent a lot of time accumulating baby paraphernalia, such as a crib. One day Lisa spent so much time online reading crib reviews I thought she'd revert to infancy. Not sure either of us will feel like that time was well-spent. It's easy to get blinded by the details of such a pursuit and miss the point. Plus when you do discover what you really want, it's not available anywhere and you have to start over.

I'll close with a photo of the beautiful mother to be.