Just Over a Year

I really felt the urge to write over the past few days, but I had such aching in my forearms, I postponed it till I felt better.

Last week, Anna turned one. As we were supposed to do, we made a fuss, with two parties and a pizza night on her actual birthday. Everyone remarks how the first year flew by, and perhaps with time, I'll believe it. Truth is, dear one, we had some difficult days and many long nights.

Overall we are tremendously fortunate to have a health, mostly happy little girl. I always tell people she's social like her mother, but, truth is, she's more so, at least for now. She is very curious about other children and she often screams "Hi" to them from across the room or across the playground. She says "Hi" several hundred times a day. And her smile erodes even the grumpiest of daddy's moods, eventually.

Today it was old theme of reluctant napper. More often she wants to get into everything she can crawl to or grab from a supported stance. Yes, that's her job. It would be great, though, if she stopped to play with a toy or two on the way to reaching for the coffee cup she's spotted on the end table half way across the room. Probably the worst hour so far of her budding toddlerhood was trying to entertain her in a tiny exam room at the doctor's for her one year check, with grand finale of screams and shrieks from needles and blood lettings.

Of course, with the bad comes other good. Her play is more complex, she giggles, she snuggles a bit, she says a few words like 'ball, doggy, blue', and she is starting to moo like a cow. She shows preferences for certain books. She yells, "Bye, bye!" She flatters me by eating my waffles and pancakes. And most of the time, she's a good natured, well-behaved baby.

Tomorrow we're bringing her up north for her first time with Lisa's family, which will hopefully mean some fun for all of us.

For my part, this will be my last entry. I owe her a book for all her work growing to be a year old. I guess as hard as it has been for us, think of how hard it is to adjust in your first year. In that she's done as good as she knows how. Certainly, we'll keep fighting for her.

I love you, little nutter!

Neglected no more

Wow! Sorry, Anna, I really meant to write more between April and June. Since then, Anna's produced new teeth, learned to crawl, learned to say, "Ducky", "Hi", "Daddy", and something like "Birdy". She's a happy, bright, beautiful girl. We've got a doll.

In May we had fun celebrating Mother's Day. Mom got a huge 18x24 picture of Anna framed and a lovely handbag. I treated the girls to blueberry waffles and we had fun at Gene and Sue's playing with cousins, although, at that point, Anna didn't yet crawl. She got a little frustrated watching Rowan zoom around on the grass on that beautiful day.

Something she could and did do, however, was swing, and she did plenty of that.

Among other memorable moments since last I wrote was that after an afternoon at Sue and Gene's, Lisa and Sue gave Anna some dinner, but somehow forgot to notice that Anna wasn't buckled in her high chair. She took a hard fall on the wood floor and bloodied her nose and puffed up her lip. When Lisa came in the door crying, I didn't immediately understand what happened, but Anna was also crying hard. My first thought was that she fell out of the car seat. Anyway, we got Anna calm and, after double checking with the on-call nurse, Lisa gave her a bath and we put her to bed, although we did take the precaution of checking on her, since we were worried about the little goose egg on her head.

Since we've been looking for a different house, we've taken her to a lot of open houses and showings. She likes it less than we do, but not a lot less. Anyway, we put a bid in and are waiting to hear if they counter, accept, or blow it off.

We have read a lot of books together, taken a lot of walks together, giggled and laughed, and have all done at least a bit of crying. Babies give and receive, and some days are harder than others.

Anna and I joined a play group at First Unitarian and most of the time other kids have showed up, and it's great to give her more kid to kid time. Yesterday, she was saying "Hi" to the other babies as she poked or whacked them in the face. I guess it will be a little longer before she's as socially graceful as her mother. Right now Anna and I are about equal, knowledge-wise, although her smile puts her light years ahead.

Here are pics from Mother's Day and times before and after.

Weather and Parenting

Today was, by far, the nicest weather I've had as a stay at home papa. Certainly logged some stroller miles by marching up and down State Street, all for the grand purpose of getting Anna some rubber duckies for her bathtime. Sure, I could have just strolled down the street, but I much prefer to have a destination and a purpose.

While I was downtown I stopped in to say hello to Lori Bessler and her Tuesday crew, but I missed connecting with the 'old guy' volunteers. Fortunately, Lori was there to gush over Anna, so the visit was worthwhile.

The whole day with Anna was a lot of fun, except for much of the last hour. By that time, we're both a little worn out. Her new thing is leaning into me while she's engaged in play, as if to share the experience, which is great. She's quite the schmoozer. Normally my instinct would have been to return her to her stroller to get her to settle down, but she'd already spent a lot time there today, and Lisa wanted to walk with her after work.

After Lisa got home, she did go out and I got a chance to get on the Colnago for a half hour. Looking forward to pulling Anna behind the bike later this summer. In the meantime, it's stroll, stroll, stroll.

Entertainment Factor

This week in the Science Times, the section that comes in Tuesday's NY Times, there was an article that tried to explain current research into why we humans evolved to parent cooperatively. One of the factors that we can relate to right now, especially, is the entertainment factor. The idea is that before the age of TV & movies, babies served as early evening entertainment for couples.

This entertainment is especially welcome, I would argue, to sleep deprived parents, which is most newer ones.

It's certainly hard to remain grumpy, whether it's rational or not, at a 7 month old when she grins and giggles at Daddy. This afternoon, after our long walk in the early spring-like weather, and after some yummy carrots, we played on the floor together for about an hour. Might be the best full hour we've had together, at least just the two of us. The highlight came when I dangled a piece of ribbon above her and snatched away, just as her hands closed upon it to grab it. She giggled each time I did so.

The Times piece argued that babies are socially gifted to provide plenty of reinforcement for caregivers. I would suggest that it's probably even more powerful that, seemingly, the positive coos, smiles and giggles are somewhat random, providing that all-addictive random positive reinforcement that draws in gamblers and, apparently, daddies, all too well. Just ten minutes before our impromptu playdate, she was crying because I wouldn't let her play with the spoon that was delivering her carrots.

Here's another photo from our trip!