A Change for the Better!

Quick update as the frustration of the last post has eased considerably. Anna's sleep is improving by putting her in her own room. Despite our best intentions to make a little more noise around her as she napped over the last months, she's a light sleeper. Lisa thinks our tossing and turning didn't help her much, and we (well, mostly Lisa and her bionic ears), hears everything Anna does when she's next to our bed. To make matters worse over the last month, my cough due to cold has disturbed her sleep and Lisa's, too.

So far, in our new arrangement, Anna wakes twice before 'morning', which is more tolerable for Lisa.

Naps are still a work in progress. Hopefully she'll improve as she gets better rest at night.

Here's a photo from Thanksgiving at Pamela's.

Sleep: The missing element

Last night was the worst night in recent memory, with regard to sleep. At just past four months, Anna has still been sleeping in her bassinet, next to Lisa's side of the bed. This made night time feedings a little less problematic for Lisa, and we assumed that having us near gave Anna a little added security.

Tonight we are trying something else.

Last night, we put Anna down at her usual 7 o'clock, give or take 20 minutes, and unlike most evening, she did not wake up crying 45 minutes to an hour later. I predicted that this would make for a good night's sleep for all of us.

Instead, when I went to bed at 11, Lisa had already placed Anna beside her. Our thought was that she slept better with us. Shortly after I showed up, she began her muted cries and whimpers, which it seems are her way of getting herself back to sleep. Whether it helps her or not, it's very hard to endure. By 1:30am, I burst out with some expletives, saying, essentially that I was going mad. Lisa encouraged me to go into the other room, but I was determined to help get her to sleep. Fifteen minutes later, I relented, but I was too upset to sleep for almost another hour and the guilt of leaving Lisa alone with Anna bore a hole in my gut.

I got up when Anna did and let Lisa get a little more sleep. All told, I had about 4.5-5 hours of sleep. I tried to help our mood by making light, but we both understood that this is very upsetting and agreed to try something, anything else. I did suggest that perhaps a timeshare arrangement with another parent/parents might be a good idea.

Tonight we put her in her crib in her own room, but she woke up 20 minutes after Lisa put her down and could not be calmed while laying down. We went back to the 'miracle' blanket the second attempt and switched her back to her bassinet, hoping that would prove a bit more familiar and comforting. So far, she and Lisa have been asleep in separate rooms for an hour and a half.

Anyway, since I don't know what else lies ahead, I'm off to bed, too. Wish us luck!

This photo is of Anna at 4 months, sitting on her mother's lap.

Almost four months

Anna's personality comes out a little more each day. So far, she's seems like the social animal that her mother is. She really draws people in with her wrinkly nose grin. Of course, she does best when she has plenty of sleep, as she did yesterday. It certainly seems like she knows when it's Sunday, for she took two sizable naps yesterday.

Tomorrow will mark my forth Tuesday taking care of Anna. Generally it seems to get easier. I recall that first five minutes when Lisa left for a full day of work. I wonder how many times I checked the clock to do the math to determine when Mom would be back again. I still check the clock, but it's less often and with less anxiety.

The bad news is that as it gets colder, walks outdoors will be fewer and farther between. Sue's gonna watch Anna tomorrow so I can get a haircut. Patti has delighted in taking her a couple of times, but she, too, enjoys the chance to walk the neighborhood with her.

Inside, her play is changing. She used to be content to whack a ball hanging from a string. Now, however, she wants to put everything in her mouth so she can slather it with a proper coating of drool. She is also less interested in Daddy's roar game, since she's captivated by whatever is happening over her left shoulder. Lisa says it won't be long till she rolls over. Like the rest of us, though, when she does, I imagine she'll think, "Okay, now what?"

She's pretty glad to take a bottle now, but, as I have explained to the feeder-in-chief, it nourishes her, but it doesn't soothe the way breastfeeding does. I suppose that's for the best, but it doesn't make Dad's time so easy. Napping is still a problem, too. I try to nap with her so she'll remain asleep, but, unlike Lisa, I can't breastfeed her back to bed, although I think I'll wield a bottle for tomorrow's am nap, just to see what happens.

Meantime, we'll keep growing her as long as she'll have us. She's heartbreakingly cute! Here's a photo taken during her post-bath massage time.

A Second Attempt

This a second attempt to write about my first experience of staying home all day with Anna. Last time, I wrote out the info, posted it, only to discover I posted it to the Wisconsin Library Association Blog. Fortunately, I figured out how to promptly remove it before anyone could see it.

I tried to write it out again, but I was interrupted by Anna waking from her nap.

Lisa went back to work on Tuesday because her 12 weeks of leave were exhausted. We were most concerned about Anna's stubbornness in refusing to drink from bottles. I hoped that if she became hungry enough, she would settle for a bottle.

On Tuesday morning, Lisa departed, and I glanced at the clock. How long before she would begin to demand milk? I figured we could be friends for the next 1.5-2 hours, at least. If things became really ugly, which seemed unlikely with such a cute baby, I could drive to Deforest, to Lisa's work, and she could have some lunch.

Fortunately, she chose the bottle. She napped. She did all the things that good babies should. Sure, she fussed some, but our fears were unfounded.

Today was a bit more difficult, however, since I had to drop Anna at the sitter's for the afternoon. Our sitter, Sally, is certainly kind and very experienced, but it's already hard to let go. I even changed a diaper so I could stay longer. Eventually, however, I had to leave for work, and I got choked up as I walked down the driveway. It was easier knowing that Lisa planned to drop by during her lunch.

Turned out she turned up her nose at the bottle later that afternoon, and we put up with a little extra fussing this evening. Lisa figured she was a little extra tired from a few new experiences.

Home again tomorrow, so hopefully we have a good day once again.

In the meantime, enjoy a fun video of what Anna and I do when we play:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/matt21cdog-pics/2945642921/Matt & Anna @ Play

The Long Drive

As I write, Lisa has finally gotten Anna to take a nap. Perhaps after a weekend of being passed from Daddy to Grandpa, from Mom and to Grandma, it was too much fun to hang just with Mom for most of the day, and Anna found it hard to rest. Maybe it was gas. You can rarely tell with these young babies.

We were away up north when our friends Chris and Jenny called from Pasadena, CA, to say that their daughter had been born Sunday morning. When she got the phone message and later spoke to Jenny, her impulse was to fly out and help. My thought, of course, it to take one baby at a time. It's certainly plenty for me to handle. In fact, we have had some 'discussion' this weekend about my anxiety about being left alone with Anna for extended periods.

No doubt I enjoy my time with her, especially now that she's more expressive and more able to interact during play. Then again, certain things have changed as Lisa and Anna have bonded more tightly.

For the first month after we got home from the hospital, I took a certain amount of pride in the fact that I seemed pretty good at walking her around and singing to her to get her to calm down. Lately, though, it seems she prefers Lisa's rocking. More troubling are those times when I do all I can to calm her down, yet she only becomes quiet when I give her to Lisa. At one time it seemed that her advantage in soothing her came primarily from her ability to breast feed. Now it's more general than that.

Anna did no less than GREAT in the car this weekend; She slept most of the way back and forth to Butternut, which is more than 4.5 hours in the car. I imagine that some of that was due to Gene's excellent driving and the fact that she benefited from having Mom on one side of her and Grandma Sue Sue on the other.

So as I find new strategies to cope with the protest cries to come, I'll remember that we're in this for the long haul, and we'll get there one way or another.

Two Months Old

If she's two months can we say two months or do we have to stick to weeks for the foreseeable future?

Speaking of the future, as a new parent, it's not that you don't want to look to the future: The prospect of better sleep ahead; Less crying and fussing, or at least crying that is more easily identifiable; A chance to hear words and laughter, to see crawling, walking, and rolling over.

For better or worse, babies keep us in the present. Since most parents of older children have told us to 'snuggle 'em while you can' and enjoy the moments both difficult and sweet, I figure the present is where we want to be. And not just with babies. The same goes for friends, husbands and wives, those we meet and help at work. I have always been particularly annoyed at parents who push a stroller with a cell phone or those who can't be bothered to talk to their children on the way to the grocery store. It's disrespectful and wasted opportunity.

Today was a great day for Dad. She really seems to be figuring out that Mommy's stooge isn't going anywhere but to work. He also plays a little sillier than Mommy does. She seemed to really enjoy when I pretended to be munching on her fists this afternoon and tonight, and she stared at me intently during diaper changes. I enjoy and it now AND I enjoying knowing that our play will become even more fun in the days to come.

Enjoy future U.S. Olympic Volleyball player Anna in this video action!

Miles of Smiles

A couple of months ago, some friends with a new baby mentioned that once their son began to smile, they spent most waking moments trying to create conditions favorable to further grins and toothless smirks. Now we know where they're coming from.

I think especially after all the newborn crying, when she smiles it's like a powerful antidote to the night time crying spells.

Of course, since she's just figuring out this smiling business, it can arrive at odd times. She seemed pretty pleased, for example, as I changed a particularly messy diaper. What's different lately, though, is that smiles show up during her short bursts of play. At this stage, play is usually defined as her following an object, such as a rattle, as we shake it in front of her mug. Her other favorite is lying beneath the ceiling fan while we chat playfully to her, and we sometimes receive coos and ahs in response.

Of course, there's no shortage of fussing and crying yet. My latest frustration is that she'll settle down and nap if I tote her about. If I try to sit for more than a few minutes, however, she'll wake and fuss. If I get up to walk again, she falls back asleep. Perhaps she's trying to work off the extra pounds daddy has acquired from being around the house and refrigerator so often. Perhaps she's just yanking my chain. Either way, I find it quite irritating. Just now Lisa relieved me and she went fast asleep in her arms as Lisa enjoyed an Ellen rerun. Turns out the joke is on Mom, however: John McCain was the featured guest.

Today Mom and Dad tried to be bold and go to a matinee. Lisa has been wanting to see the Pineapple Express, the stoner action comedy from the Judd Apatow gang. Plus today has been forcast as the hottest day of the year, so far.

We bought our tickets and settled in. Marcus theaters have bench seats that work well with a car seat. Just as Lisa was chomping on the second half of her sandwich from lunch, an employee came to explain that babies aren't allowed into R rated films. The gave us both a refund and free passes. It probably worked out for the best since there was no way Anna would keep quiet for 90 minutes. Now we can hire a sitter and use our free passes to see it and relax at the same time.

Instead of a movie, we made a trip to Target for diapers and milk. Plenty of air conditioning there, too.